


Tsukishima Kryptonite

by mousapelli



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-26 13:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13236618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousapelli/pseuds/mousapelli
Summary: Saeko and Akiteru aren't above using their son to get to Kei.





	Tsukishima Kryptonite

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SASO 2017, Remix bonus round. Remix of a [fill from Chromatic_Coma](https://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/21522.html?thread=10185490#cmt10185490) where Akiteru had gotten Saeko pregnant in high school and they'd ended up married with a kid by the time canon starts. 
> 
> Akiteru and Saeko make an amazing team to torment Tsukki in every universe.

"Will you just call your brother? You weenie," Saeko says, eyes still glued to her economics textbook. She lifts it out of the way without missing a beat when Hayato's use of two spoons to imitate his mom's taiko knocks over his cup of juice. It's the second time she's tried this class, although in her defense the first time she failed it because she'd given birth to Hayato during mid-term week.

"I texted him already," Akiteru points out, on his back halfway into this space under the sink, trying to figure out where on earth the dripping is even coming from. "Twice. Kei hates the phone."

"Duh? That's why you do it." Saeko turns a page, absent-mindedly ruffling Hayato's hair when he brings over like a third of the roll of paper towels to mop his juice spill. "Mommy's little helper, huh? You want to see your Uncle Kei, right?"

"Yes!" Hayato exclaims immediately.

"Then tell Papa he's being a weenie."

"Papa is a WEENIE!" Hayato screeches in delight. Akiteru tries to sit up to scowl and bangs his head on the underside of the sink.

"Don't teach our kid to call me a weenie," Akiteru scolds, rubbing his head.

"Don't teach our kid to be a weenie," Saeko retorts. Hayato is chanting _weenie weenie weenie_ in time with his renewed taiko solo. "He's ignoring your texts on purpose. If you don't call him, I will."

"No no no," Akiteru grumbles, climbing to his feet and hunting around for his phone. It's in the middle of a small pond of juice, of course, but its case has saved it from lasting damage, if not from stickiness. Akiteru makes a face as he holds it up to his head, listening to it ring.

Kei grunts a hello, and Akiteru greets him cheerfully, asking about their parents, school, volleyball. Tsukishima answers as monosyllabically as possible, obviously trying to get Akiteru off the phone, but Akiteru presses forward as if he can't hear that.

"So, about the Children's Day picnic…"

Kei makes an irritated noise. "I already told you, I'm too old for that. Plus I'm studying."

_So's my wife, brat_ , Akiteru wants to retort, but matching Kei snark for snark never gets you anywhere with him, only unfailing persistence. But this time even that doesn't seem to be getting him anywhere, and Akiteru makes helpless eyes at Saeko.

Saeko grins, the sharp clever grin that she used to use on Akiteru to talk him into making out in stairwells. She points to Hayato. His wife is a _genius_. Akiteru grins back at them.

"I'm giving Hayato the phone now, he wants to talk to you!" Akiteru sing-songs. He hands over the phone to Hayato, who is almost vibrating with excitement.

"Hello?" Hayato says. "I'm so happy! Papa says you're coming with us to Children's Day so we can play in the park together!"

"Lay it on thick, kiddo," Saeko advises, attention already back on her textbook. Hayato doesn't disappoint, smugly informing Akiteru that Uncle Kei will definitely be coming to the picnic.


End file.
